Money Make Her Smile?

Hectic working life made me unable to post out what's happening on my February days life. I always seems to be blame on my job, not to said that I hate my profession but it really made my life so miserable and lifeless. Used up most of my time and working like a cow in hospital, but just earned that little pitiful salary for myself. Then ended up made myself become thinner and unhealthy, easily to get sick due to shift schedule and lack of resting time. Then also having less time to accompany my family especially my parents, less gathering and bonding time with my beloved friends, less time to build up my new network connection for new stuffs or new buddy. My 22nd years in this world sounds so pitiful, but I swear to myself that I will make a overhauled for my better future, just need to endure all the painful and suffering, the bright side will always be with me.

This year CNY celebration is getting even cooler, as my grandpa passed away for 1 year plus and my grandma still unable to ambulate by her own fully after that stroke episode. So still we not celebrate grandly for this festival, but I think even after subsequent years will still remain the same. CNY doesn't become so important anymore as time goes by, when you grew up older and bigger, especially after you step into the working life. I can't smell and feel the festival atmosphere till when I went to shopping centre where they kept on playing the CNY songs. But what I love the most is I able to enjoy many delicious and nice foods especially my mom homecook foods! Also having gathering with my beloved family and bunch of old buddies which I felt the most comfortable and enjoyable moment in this CNY. Of course I did gave a little token of appreciation for my parents and grandma, the feeling is wonderful and overwhelming when you passed over to them, 'cause that's the hard-earned effort from ownself. Also I helped my grandma for toilet bath which I feel it's usual thing as I always did in hospital when I was a student. While I taking my grandma back to living room after the bath, she looked at me and appreciated of what I did for her. A peace feeling overwhelming my heart, yea, I still feel that that's not wrong that I'm in this profession.

Thus came to my 22nd birthday which I have never expected so much from that, since last year I had few grand celebration just because I was 21st. So this year  luckily I'm able to get annual leave for my birthday, at first which supposed back to work and eventually after I talked with my boss, leave approved and I was so relieved. "Never try to work during your birthday!" -- this statement which quoted by my respectful tutor Ms K. The day before just had a gathering outing with Xiong, MK, Xian Moi, Nyamuk and S.Yin. Never thought they still celebrated with me, although no cake for that, but I'm really satisfied for all the treats they did. I received a very special present from my little sis, a blue paper which full with wishes and unknown names, it's my little sis's idea who asked her NS friends gave me wishes which I really touched of that! Then on the exact day, back to Puchong since tomorrow's morning shift, had a single Valentine's dinner with Ying at Sushi Zanmai. Life is just great with all loves around!

Then continue my hectic working life after CNY holiday till now. Between that I went back hometown once after my night shift, met up my 2 close bros JT and Bong at newly opened Starbucks. Really had a long time never have a talk with both of them. JT is going to SG and start his working life, and we'll have less time to meet up in the future. Kinda sad when he told me about this, but what to do when it comes to money is everything in this world, especially for man who need to take care of family. Wish a good luck for him! Of course I did accompanied my parents well since my little sis is not around, what a complicated feeling when actually I think both of my beloved parents stay at home without three of us together. Soon my little sis is going for college which I think she won't be staying at Melaka study. How I wish I can stay with them...

And now ended up with right eye conjuctivitis after 3 days double in a week. Don't know all of sudden and how did I get this, got two days MC and currently I'm isolating myself in my room. I just hope that it can recover soon 'cause it is very irritating when it comes to icthiness and watery redness eye. Discomfort!!


I just want my active lifely life back!! *shouting in my deep heart*


P/S: 思念就跟爱情一样是会耗尽的。无奈要分隔两地，一开始我想你想得很苦恨不得马上飞奔到你身边，再也不要跟你分开。后来的后来，我沒那么想你了，不是不爱你而是这样的想念是沒有归途的。我再怎么想你，还是见不着你，摸不到你，只是用思念来折磨自己。于是我知道，我得学着过自己的生活。

Mix-and-match post

Had a great time at hometown after my night shifts on last weekend. As usual gathering with family members and had a outing with buddies JS and JT. The special part was had a visit for my little sis at her NS camp at Kluang, it's so damn far and I just kept on slept in the car while my elder sis drove all the way to there. My eyes just can't stand with that long and far highway, don't know how am I going to drive highway when I get my own car, really need to train myself up. Met my little sis in the camp there, she seems to be happy when see us. LOL~ Not to say that it's a usual reaction but sometimes she just to be too cool, but still happy to see her, hope she will enjoy herself well in that 3 months. It's just a special experience to get from NS as me and my elder sis didn't go for that. Lucky for me actually although I love all those adventurous activities too.

Then back to work, hectic working life still going on, and I can't deny it. My big boss told us to be well prepared and not to get sick as next month will be even harder as less staffing, even my CNY leave which I requested seems like have to be cut down. I have no choice but just to keep myself positive that earn more money from it, then I can fulfill my dreams. With this only I can continue my path, sounds pitiful but still have to accept the fact.

And don't know why, I did a really stupid action in my whole life ever on last few day, without thinking too much or whatsoever. That moment I just want to express my feeling and really wanted to make sure that message been received. "I just want you to know" this statement really strongly input in my mind, so all those words came out from my mouth and you listened it. Until the phone conversation ended, and I started to think back, I really puzzled of what I have done for that past an hour. Guilty and embarrassed feeling came into my mind, and I can't get a nice sleep on that night. The next day I really had my "good lecture" from the fellow whom I strangled last night, I can't do much but just to laughed of my stupidity. Although nothing serious happened actually, and he did explained and consulted me so much and so long regarding that matter, but still I feel the emptiness is there. I'm truly sincerely apologize of what I had said to you, especially for those serious and heavy words I used to talk with you on that night. But you know right, all these just because of caring you, and you seems to be happy and touched because of this, right (since you said so)? So let's get things better, okay? I swear to myself that I won't be out of control anymore, never in my life ever again!

Just now had my dinner with my mentor at nearby cafe, enjoyed the live band. With my luck, I have my chance to witness a proposal from a guy to his girlfriend with the help of the girl's friends. This is my first time ever to watch the proposal in front of my eyes, although it's very short moment, but still feel happy for that couple. But I can see the awkward expression from the girl since so many people looked at her. LOL~ Wishing them have a happy wedding and happy ending for their love too!=) 

This post seems very rojak but all these are the things I wanna express out! Much more better after I type it out. Be faithful in life, 'cause my life still long way to go! =]


P/S: "Don't think too much!"  It's easy to say but hardly control your mind actually....

一生守候

王若琳 - 一生守候

作词：武雄      作曲：张朵朵
等待着你 等待你慢慢的靠近我
陪着我长长的夜到尽头
别让我独自守候
等待着你 等待你默默凝望着我
告诉我你的未来属于我
除了我别无所求
你知道这一生 我只为你执着
管别人心怎么想 眼怎么看 话怎么说
你知道这一生 我只为你守候
我对你情那么深 意那么浓 爱那么多
等待着你 等待你轻轻拉我的手
陪着我长长的路慢慢走
一直到天长地久
等待着你 等待你紧紧拥抱着我
告诉我你的心里只有我
永远爱我 等待着你
除了我别无选择
你知道这一生 我只为你执着
不管他喜还是悲 苦还是甜 对还是错

This sweet song I knew it from the movie The Last Thycoon that I watched with ILT on last Saturday. The movie is damn nice, very touching till I almost cried in the end of the movie, but still able to hold my tears. ILT made a joke of me and helped me to wipe off my "tears". Unlike the girl who sat beside me already cried how many rounds, but it's a supreme movie indeed!

How to get a women who truly love you and support you whatever you do or decide? I'm really salute of the wife of Chen Da Qi -- Ah Bao. With his husband met back his first love and protect his first love in the war, she still manage to tell him that she will stay at Shanghai with the Jeneral and let him and his first love go to Hongkong to take refuge. Can I able to do so if this thing really happened on me and the one that I loved? I seriously have no idea about it.

It's not easy to get someone who truly care of you, support you no matter what happened, especially for the one who perfectly match you. I really appreciated of what I had it right now -- so much besties who really love me, help me and be with me all the time, although we're far apart from distances. I will remember of what ILT told me, what we talked about, let us be together and fight for the best in medical line. Of course I won't know after few years later, will both of us be the person who we really want to achieve, but with our determination, we surely can make it! =]


P/S: Sometimes to be friend forever will be much better than the lover! =)

New year resolutions!

My new year resolutions just very simple: I want to earn more and more money! So that I can do and get whatever I wanted, without get others permission. Then I can fulfill my dreams, such as travelling at Bangkok with besties, buy my beloved items, eat delicious foods, treat my family well and etc. Money this matter, you can't live without it in your life, or else will get very suffer and struggling of it. I knew it very well since I grown up, "no money no talk" this quote will never disappear in my mind. So let's work it out since my ward started from next month will be seriously short of staffs, more double shifts coming and hectic working life begin! (Actually already started since I joined)

Then I wish to  improve my communication skills, my courage of confront with everyone, gain more knowledge regarding my career medical fields, know more people and have more new friends, and of course to get myself prettier and sexier! My besties GLL asked me, "Eh this time you don't wish to get a boyfriend already?" LOL I laughed after she said so. My answer for her is: just let it be, when it really come, I also can't avoid it right? I know it's too hard for me to get a guy which fulfill my requirements and seriously with my condition right now, my narrow network will be even harder to get it. Sometimes I really envy of my friends which have a lovely boyfriend who always support them and be with them, even though sometimes got arguement or fight. I felt surprised when one of my coursemate who actually getting married next week, and already registered. All of us was shocked when get the news, but still feel happy for her. Wish she will be happy forever with her hubby. Still query that whether can attend her wedding lunch since got other thing stuck on me at the same time.

Anyhow, I do really hope that this 2013 will be a great year for me and my beloved one, let's us conquer all the hardships and obstacles! *fingers crossed*

P/S: So near yet so far....

Live My Life / To be continue

It's going to end year 2012, even we actually went through the world's end day, 21st Dec 2012, but life still keep on going. I still wake up as usual and continue the things what I'm supposed to do. And today is X'mas eve! Thought will working my double shift but my boss cancelled it, so I went back home earlier and now sitting in front of my lappy, which I don't know what to do except to update my blog. I still remember last year of today I had a crazy X'mas celebration with my secondary school besties. We exchanged gifts according to the number we picked up, and drank like nobody business. Even some of them drunk like a mad people, which created a funny yet sweet memories in my life. But this year, some of them not in hometown, people like me need to work, so the others already find their way to celebrate their X'mas eve. I know life always be unexpected, just sometimes and somehow, I will feel lonely and sad regarding all these. Especially when I grown up, older and older, many things will never happen as what I thought. Hmm... Did I give up my life because of this? Of course no! I still believe there's a better future for me to explore, maybe eventually will have a life that I wanted to live. Who knows what will happen next? I'm still young enough to fight for that!

So what happened recently? Finally I get what I really wanted for years -- change my phone! After many considerations and calculations, I still think that I should get this for my use for the next few years. Some of my friends don't understand why I wanted this so much as my hands are small enough to hold this phone. Actually my palm just the exact size of the phone. LOL! The answer is just simple as -- I need a phone which can entertain me whenever I feel bored, no matter of just to contact with people, surf the net, playing games, taking photos, watching dramas and etc. This can fulfill all my requirements! Although it's not that cheap, and I still have to work hard to pay back for that, but now I still feel it's really worth. Who cares of other things as long as I feel satisfactory and happy of it? Hahaha... So now I'm still a newbie for android phone, lots more to be explore!

So now have to think about my new year resolutions, and will update about it for the next post! Stay tuned!

Merry christmas and have a happy new year! =]


P/S: Eventually they will squeeze out a little time for you even though hectic life still going on, it just a matter of care and concern. Are you still care enough to bother me?

Mute Life

This hectic working life finally turned me into sick! Now I can't talk really well as having severe sore throat and nose block. Voice changed to mute mode, when I talked it just like a spoiled radio, but still have to force my voice out just want to communicate during working time. Dr told me I had a very inflamed tonsils, so prescribed alots of medications for me to recover back. No MC for this visit, 'cause afebrile after 1 episode of spike fever on last Saturday. Felt better after taken medications, but I do really hope that I can recover as soon as possible, so that can eat many nice and delicious food, although I'm not so strict of food that I taking right now. LOL~ Many people saw my condition and encourage me to take a good rest, but with this hectic workload and under staffs in ward everyday, which I don't even have time to go for toilet break, how am I supposed to rest well? Thanks for the powerful Dr who voiced out for our struggling, finally the superiors want to take actions regarding this. Hopefully this can make a big differences for us. *Fingers crossed*

Saw my next month planning roster, still fulled with shifts, and I really can't celebrate my X'mas and countdown as I need to work and cover for my colleagues who went for holiday. I accepted it, but I'll make sure I'll get my real holiday when CNY is coming. Will work hard for that! =]

It's bored and I really need to release my moodiness! Please get my lively life back!!


P/S: I hate waiting!! But still need to wait!! -.-

Emotional season

No doubt it's an emotional season since the sky seems crying all the time from end of October till now. My mood changed and turned to very down due to some issues happened. Remembered what I told regarding the accident? Now that fellow changed his mind and made a fake stupid police report against us just for his more income, I was so damn frustrated of what he had did for us. At first agreed of everything, but now tried to get more money for his greediness. Made my parents worried all the time, my mom can't sleep well due to this issue. I believe in Karma, he'll definitely get all the punishments of what he had did for us. May you go to hell and RIP, ****!

Then some of my close friends realize my moody and tried to cheer me up which actually I didn't showed any signs of moody to them. I'm really glad of having such a good friends in my life, who wants me to be happy at all time. But, I just can't be happy with all these happened afterwards. I can't pretend that. Why is everything seems so much difficult after I grew up? I tried to divert my focus but failed. I miss my family and friends who are always far away from me. Distances make heart grow fonder -- my true feeling after I refreshed back all our pictures in my lappie. With all those smiles and fun that we had, I wish to see you all right now, but still a long time to go to meet you all back.

I always believe all these will become much better after at all, so please don't ever down my spirit anymore. And seems like I'm going to work during X'mas and countdown 2013 according to planning roster, so no celebration for me this year. So sad about that, but who's gonna celebrate with me even I'm actually free on that time? Another sad case.... =(

By the way, 5 centimeters per second (Byōsoku Go Senchimētoru), is a 2007 Japanese animated feature film by Makoto Shinkai is recommended to watch! 

I'm in love with all these movie quotes :-

• Yesterday, I had a dream... A dream I have had since long ago. In that dream, we had yet to turn 13. We were in a vast countryside, completely covered with snow. The lights of the houses extended far into the distance, a dazzling sight. We walked on the thick caprpet of fresh snow, but did not leave any footprints. And like that... 'Someday we will be able to watch the cherry blossoms together again'. Both of us, without any doubt... Thats what we thought. ~Tono Tamaki/Akari Shinohara

• It must really be a lonelier journey than anyone could imagine. Cutting through absolute darkness, encountering nothing but the occasional hydrogen atom. Flying blindly into the abyss, believing therein lie the answers to the mysteries of the universe. ~Tono Tamaki

• The things I had to tell her... and the things I hoped she would listen to. There were so many of them. ~Tono Tamaki

• Do you know? The speed at which cherry blossoms fall… 5 centimeters per second. At what speed must I live... to be able to see you again? ~Tono Tamaki

• Every minute felt like an eternity time, clearly as if it had malicious intent, slowly ebbing away from me. I clenched my teeth, and keeping myself from crying was the only thing I could do… ~Tono Tamaki

P/S: I just need you right here by my side.. If I could just believe in miracles, I would do anything to show you now...