Working life seems to make me more stressful as times goes by, now I'm a senior staff who need to guide and mentoring my junior staffs. Not only that, everything will come back to me whenever I'm on shift to make sure nothing gose wrong. Now when I almost finish shift especially double shift, my headache will be worsening. But when I'm home and took my late dinner or have a good shower, headache will disappear. I sleep unpeacefully everyday and will awake during midnight, wondering anything I left out to carry out the orders. Colleagues not so cooperative and will blame each other whenever problems appeared. My temper seems to be worsen and hardly to control when I'm in stressed. Sigh~ I'm exhausted but no one seems to care.
Then my surrounding people started to ask me when I want to continue my degree. They gave me so many ideas and encouragement of continuing this nursing career. Life could be so great if it is that simple. I have no money and no motivation of continue my studies. Who can sponsor me and support me financially when I'm studying part time in degree as you know the course itself cost RM30k which is not including the fees and books? My debts got so much to pay off each time I get my salary, ended up not even quarter of it is for my leisure or pocket money. I count every single cent from my account to make sure I didn't misuse my hard-earned money. But anyhow some problem will find me and I have to use up my little saving in the end.
How could I continue my career when I'm still doubtful of having this kind of miserable life for my future?? I know changes can make my future brighter, but now I don't even know what I really want.
I'm in dilemma.
