Bitter Sweet

九月十九日出席了自己人生中最重要的典礼之一 -- 毕业典礼。与家人和同窗三年的朋友们一起见证这一刻真的会让自己很骄傲和满足，毕竟这三年来怎样千辛万苦地过只有自己知道。 接收到家人给的太阳花束和中学时期的死党们给的小小毕业熊，还有前晚未来姐夫请吃的日本料理，真的感触良多。他们就像是那灿烂的阳光般给予力量和支持，让太阳花开出最美丽的模样。当天还少不了见回自己的姐妹们，每个人真的开始散发出女人的魅力了。我想下次的大团聚就是不知在谁的婚礼上了，指日可待。哈哈~ 不过如果能重来，我真的希望自己还是个学生，还是学生生活最好的了！

然后就继续日复一日地工作，真的会发疯再继续下去，每天都被繁重的工作量砸死了，连要喝口水上个厕所都没时间，继续下去真的会引发很多疾病，真的是十分无奈。许多人都以为这神圣的使命是很好赚钱的，其实并不然。而我就对他人的朝九晚五规律生活开始有了憧憬。这吃力不讨好的使命，我开始嫌弃了。可是有个人对我说，别理会他人的想法，好好地做自己觉得对的事情，别担心他就在我身后罢了。当看到这一句话时，心里像是被打了支强心针，感动得没话说。真的很感谢他的鼓励，就因为那番话让我继续坚持到了现在。虽然有时还是会做到很火大还是很累，那时就总是警惕自己是不会这么容易被别人打败的，就这么继续挨下去了，要不然还有这么多年要我怎么坚持下去啊？

 呵呵，真的觉得自己怎么那么可悲啊？还被别人算出本人的运势会到明年二月才开始好转。天啊！！人生到处都是无奈。。。

没办法，这时候只好自己鼓励自己，希望那奖赏自己的计划真的实行！ 加油！


P/S：保持现状才是最好的，你说是吧？

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Past few days went back to hometown after night shifts, mom still came and fetch me home with her motorbike even she's sick for few days already. She didn't get sick for such a long period, I think because of her hardworking for past months. Then before I went back to KL, my little sister whom having her SPM trial exam also fall sick with high fever. Even I can't do much but just kept remind them to eat medicine and gave them water or asked them to get some rest. Recently the weather always change its mood, I just can pray hard each and everyone of my loved one can healthily do whatever they need to do. Of course I met my besties for yam-cha session while staying in hometown. Shared our own problems and our future plan for next year besties trip. Hopefully it can be reality, I really do hope I can have a vacation just to be with all my beloved friends, but it might take quite a long time to make it happen. I still able to wait patiently for that, 'cause I used to wait for everything that I wanted, just don't make me disappointed.

Yesterday night had BBQ with my sister's colleagues for my housemate's farewell. Such a long time didn't had a nice BBQ night, all the foods damn delicious, my stomach is fulled with all kind of foods. But sadly to say that next time I'll be just alone in the house, going out for lunch or dinner alone, such a lonely person I'll be! But what to do, that's called life! I can't expect people to accompany me to do everything for all the time. Ya, it sounds pitiful but I have to used to it. How good will it be if we can just make the time straight cut into the exact moment that we want, just like the comic "after 1 year.."?


Life still need to go on... Be strong and awaiting for the best to come over me! Fighting!!


P/S: No doubt you'll always on my mind, you fool!! But will you do exact same thing as mine? =P

Unsatisfactory!!

Usually night shift not supposed to be so busy, unlike what I had gone through just now. I seriously hate that kind of situation! They think nurses have thousand hands to multitask everything in that particular time, but sorry, nurses also as human being what?! I really hate those who doesn't understand the situation, but still keep on commenting or even criticize of what had you done, especially after you tried so hard to make things perfect. That seriously made me pissed off!

Damn f**king unsatisfactory~!! Sometimes I really wish I'm not in this profession, nobody will appreciate of what we done, they just know how to find the mistakes from you and straight away bombard it. How pity are us while we had actually sacrified our time, energy, meals, even love and caring for each and every patients under our cares, just to do our job well and show the caring for them. But... I think I really feel sad and pitiful of what people's comment on it. I'm sick of all that...

Perhaps I'm not going to choose this pathway anymore if I really have a choice to make... Heartbroken... Who can cure me back? =[


P/S: Hope that you can stay with me especially this time... But I know, it's impossible.. ;(

Save Your Last Dance For Me

眼看时间慢慢地在流逝，头都没回地走了。那个日子即将来临了，心越来越不舍。你从来没想过，原来越抗拒的心，它就会像磁铁般地紧紧相依在一块。心，其实很复杂，但没人看得出来。没关系，就让它慢慢走回原本正常的轨道上吧！

习惯了你的存在，那就像是即将变成了像空气般的普通存在，毒品般地慢慢上瘾，就快让人招架不住了。这坏习惯，我想是时候该戒掉了。要不然变成了烟瘾般地惯例，我可吃不消 ！

但我想我还是会想念你。不时地想念你的微笑，想念你的恶作剧，想念你的温柔，直到有另一个人可以取代那个位子。还是没办法再找到了？说实话，我其实很害怕。

看着那黑色盒子，真的能如愿以偿地到达你手中吗？我不禁担心了起来，却无法鼓起勇气找寻你。心想，如果你还记得我们的约定，就一定会找回我的。默默等待，就是现在的唯一任务。

好吧，就这样吧！怀着那珍重的心情，迎接我们最后的共舞吧！Would you save your last dance for me?

GG?

Nothing much to talk about my job, everyday seems like repeating the same things, busy with the same kind of stuffs. Although sometimes people's words hurt, and others don't seems like understand your situations, but I still able to stand strong and continue the pathway. I know, it's gonna be very cruel in working life, whether you like it or not, you still need to do it with perfection. I'm really tried my best to do it well. Just sometimes I really need somebody to support me whenever I feel happy, sad, frustrated.. That's made me feel what I did is worth. The very good person I really found is going to leave me soon, so I better don't put so much of hope on that particular person, if not it's gonna hurt me deeply.. =)

I just had a wonderful weekend with my 'cousie' when I'm back to hometown. Thought nice moment can everlasting but never thought that bad luck happened on me at last.

Past 2 days I just met an incident, been robbed by an unknown guy at my working area in the early morning while I was going about for work. I admitted myself as a person who had really slow motion response, even heard the motor sound so near to me, but I still thought that it might just one of the staff in the hospital who're going to late work.When that fucker pulled my bag and I was just fell down to roadside, only my anger and embarrassed feeling straight to my brain. Why this fucker wanna take my useless bag (for him, for me is very useful) since my Pierre Cardin bag just fulled with bottle, umbrella, biscuits and my checklist? Damn seriously frustrated man!! I was very angry and felt very painful as it hurts my hands and legs, tears came out and I just walked to ER for help. Everyone was so shocked and brought me to dressing room and cleaned up my wounds. After a big hu-ha in hospital, I went to do police report with my sister's colleague driver ambulance Pak Cik. Then informed my family and some of my close friends about this. Everyone seems very worried about me, and I felt so sorry about that. Just ILTB felt damn funny while reading my police report as it sounds nonsense and joke, I admitted. LOL! But still luckily not much injuries on me, if not I'm surely dead. So this lesson taught me to be more paranoid abit when I'm alone, if not danger will always come and find me.

This report seems like a joke but actually it's not! ><

So little update from me, hopefully happy things happened on me more and more!! I'm seriously need good luck!! =]


P/S: Never forget the things that once make you smile ❤ I'll never forget the moment be with you!

我总是一个人在练习一个人

开始了工作的日子也有快两个星期了。在新的环境下要学习的东西有好多好多，幸好遇到了愿意指导的前辈们，相信自己慢慢也会上手的。给自己个爱的鼓励！

不过一个人的生活真的是太枯燥乏味了。每天回到房里，都只面对着那四面墙和ASUS电脑。没人能再像宿舍生活般的随时吹吹水，陈群地走街吃看看了。想要说话时，却没人聆听。那感觉实在是糟透了。看着联络簿想要找个倾述的对象，却不知要找的这个人是否在忙吗；要约人出去走走，也害怕别人会嫌麻烦的要载自己一程；肚子饿了想出去外面吃，却害怕被坏人打主意而待在房间啃面包泡面。总要有人陪伴自己做些事情，但毕竟现在每个人都是为了自己而活，不会有人这么地要管我的死活吧。（会不会太负面影响了？）那黑暗快要吞噬着自己快要喘不过气来了。天啊~ 才两个星期就这样，还有多少年的时间自己要这样地过活下去？完全不能想象。。。

原来我竟是如此地害怕孤单。;(

要怎样改变现状？我不了。。。

P/S: 很多人都以为我很坚强，其实不然，我也是逼不得已的。。。

6月杂文

6月13号，纪念着这三年来的辛酸，终于在那两个小时半的考试中永远地结束了。心中涟漪着种种的不舍，是有了依赖？还是想逃避那赤裸裸的现实？在还来不及一一回味时，车子已经到达了我未来居住和工作的另一个城市。吃力地搬迁我所有的东西，草草地打扫下那布满灰尘的房间。我看着那空荡荡的房间，问着自己，这就是我以后的寄居地了？那五味杂全的感受，你也曾感受过吗？

后来我回到了家乡，每天都快乐地与家人和那一班死党到处去玩乐。期中还跟3位好友去了趟热浪岛，那热爱旅游的心又回来了。看着那一望无际蓝蓝的大海，默默在心里许下了以后一定要跟自己最爱的那个人一起去海边旅游，毕竟与爱人和与好友的海边旅游总会有非凡不同的感受。看着自己朋友圈的那对情侣的甜蜜互动，让我的想法更加稳固了。

旅游回来后又继续跟死党的聚会，从未间断过。尤其那星期六夜晚的疯狂，更是让人意犹未尽。我想自己开始中了那个毒，该要戒掉吗？过后KL朋友的来访，当了小小的导游，不过觉得自己其实更像是旅客，自己还是不太认识自己长大的城市，这样的我会不会太失败？

每晚的死党摊开心坦白畅聊时光， 总让自己更陷入漩涡中。说再多，如果没有了行动，也是白费。记得曾有人对我说，我是个勇敢有想法的成熟女生，别害怕面对将来的一切，那些经历总会让自己更加坚强，成为更厉害的人。但其实说实话，我也只想平平淡淡度过一生罢了，轰轰烈烈是很刻苦铭心，但也很累人。反复地在猜想一个人的想法，好累好累。你到底要什么，可以告诉我吗？


 7月，会是我人生中新的道路开始。祝福我自己！

P/S： 长大后，幸福快乐，总是附带着条件...